What I'm gonna do is something I wasn't aware I'm capable of. It may come out
\ as nothing or it may come out as something very extreme, no telling at this
\ point. Part of what I'm doing here is a scientific experiment, because
\ I want to examine 28's reaction. A human experiment, mind you, with no prior
\ consent, utterly unethical. Another part depends on said reaction, it may
\ become a genuine punishment, cruel and unusual, I may hurt and harm her
\ for real. It's something that I'm not, usually, but there is a tiny voice
\ in my head telling me I want to harm 28, a voice I've never heard before.
\ I am very annoyed at everything right now and I blame her. She becomes
\ the focal point of my frustration, so even if it's completely unfair, she'll
\ have to suffer. Or not, I don't know yet, we'll see.

I stride into the hospital room.

"Colonel." -- everyone salutes me, good. I'm feeling authority now, I have
\ a clear goal in mind and I need everyone to help me achieve it, ironically
\ by going away for a while I'm afraid. Or better yet, me going away from them.

> At ease. Agent Bunny, please assess whether 28 can be unhooked for an hour or two.

"Mam, yes, mam!"

She gets busy double checking everything. I wait.

"Affirmative, mam! No immediate risks nor any need for urgent IV."

> Good, please unhook her. Agent Foxy, with face covered will anyone be able
> to recognize 28 outside of the room, just passing by? Please reply in text.
>> Mam! Not really, no, she doesn't have any marks, save for the wound,
>> so anyone aware of her circumstances may be able to guess, but not much more.
> Please fix 28 to the bed tightly and get her a strict hood.

While agents are busy, I turn to Old Man.

> I'm gonna take 28 away for a private session, it's gonna last some time.
> I'll leave you in agents' care, will you be alright? Text.
>> Of course, Colonel. We'll be fine, don't you worry, take all the time you need.

It's settled then. I take a look at our inventory and pick up handcuffs, putting
\ them in my pocket. I also take a set of small locks, all identically keyed,
\ and lock 28's leg cuffs and her collar. She'll need her arms later, but nothing
\ else. I leave the key in the room. Somewhat risky, I admit. The whole thing
\ is risky, I don't expect anyone would go along with my plan so I'll just keep it
\ top secret. Oh, by the way, her phone might be useful, I put it in another pocket.

I take a look at 28. Arms and legs are cuffed to the frame of the bed, a thick
\ collar on her neck. Let's check it out. I try to put my index finger inside
\ the collar, but it doesn't let me. I try my pinky next, and still can't, really.
\ Oh, this is good, I like it. Of course Bunny wouldn't allow the restraints
\ to be dangerous, I'll just assume there is no health risk for 28 wearing this
\ for a couple hours. The collar is also fixed to the bed, she won't be able
\ to lift her head very much, as I've just checked. Her torso is also fixed
\ to the bed just under tits and above hips, also tight. On her head is a simple
\ thick canvas hood like I've asked, no openings in it except one small
\ breathing hole. It's not laced all the way so it sits a bit baggy,
\ not following contours of her head and face, which will make recognition
\ harder. Do I want to add anything?

...

I consider writing something on her, but decide against it. Nipple clamps?
\ No, I don't think so. This is simple, elegant and effective.

> Outstanding job, agents. Jokes aside, I like this.

They just salute me back. Both faces indicate hints of proudness. They should be.

> I will take 28 out. While we are away we are not to be disturbed for anything
> short of a bona fide emergency. Agents, please spend time here and await our return.

They salute again. I try to think of anything else I need to do, but there's
\ nothing. Time to go. Oh, there is this little thing, yes.

"28, confirm you can hear me." -- I hold my phone near her ear. The hood
\ should not be that soundproof, but whatever, I mean why not.

"MAM YES MAM!"

"You and I will go outside. Exact route is classified, but I'm sure many people
\ will see us. You may not speak until told otherwise. In fact, try to refrain
\ from making any sounds, except to indicate emergency. This will be all for now."

So I pull the stops from the wheels and push her bed. First we'll visit
\ the canteen. I didn't exactly lie to 28, we'll have a bit of a tour, but not
\ as extensive as my wording may have implied. I think about what's going on now.
\ What 28 might be experiencing, or what would other people think. Like imagine
\ you see a young woman in colonel uniform pushing a hospital bed through
\ the corridors or a (presumably) huge undergound complex, having on it another
\ young woman, naked, obviously bound, with a hood on her face and a bandage
\ over her torso. And you only went out to have a coffee with this Sheila chick
\ from Deliveries that you maybe fancy a little, but nothing serious, just
\ a pretty face and a bit of a conversation from time to time.

...

Fuck, now I want to meet this Sheila chick too, my imagination will be the death
\ of me, I tell you. Anyway, actual people pay zero attention to us, just making
\ way, not acknowledging anything as out of order. Like it's just something
\ that happens, whatever.

...

Should I just flat out fuck 28 in public?

...

No.

...

This is foreplay anyway, I don't really care whether people will catcall us,
\ or whistle, or react funny, or nothing. Nothing is fine. What 28 thinks is
\ of little concern as well, but I may check her pussy just out of interest.
\ I find a quiet corridor and run a finger between her spread legs. There's
\ a little shudder but no sound. Well, in this case.

I circle the finger around upper part of her pussy hoping for her clit to come
\ out and play. And soon here it is, and play we will, just a little. This is
\ not very convenient, but not, like, impossible to give it a quick lick. In fact
\ you know what, while we're at it I can pay a bit of attention to other parts
\ of what's around. It only takes a minute, but now 28 is thoroughly wet,
\ her breathing indicates a very aroused state. Now, now, where were we.

I continue pushing her bed and we soon arrive at the canteen. I can put a tray
\ on her belly and drive her around composing myself one hell of a lunch. Or
\ I can do it without the tray, just slopping food right on her skin.

I don't want to do any of this, I'm not even hungry. Instead I roll her bed over
\ to the vending machines and take a can of cold instant coffee and we leave.
\ I have several ideas where this can might end up, but I just open it and start
\ sipping. Again, none of this matters, my plan has nothing to do with any of this,
\ it's just a bit of fun before shit gets dark, maybe.

Now I'll just get us to my room. Your place or mine, huh? Actually, her place
\ would work better, but it's just so much work to get directions from her,
\ and also recognition risk gets higher. No, mine will have to do. I just push
\ the bed, polishing the details of what exactly is going to happen soon.
\ I shouldn't oversell this to myself, it very well might come to nothing,
\ again. I just have a hunch, all right? I think I'll have at least some
\ reaction out of her, and that in turn may provide... Whatever, we'll see.

...

Corridor after corridor, looking very similar. It would be easy to get lost here,
\ but thanks to navigation here we are, finally. I roll the bed into my room,
\ position it roughly in the center and push the stops in. Each locks with
\ a satisfying thunk, I approve of this design. I walk to the controls and turn
\ the heating up. I want the air to be hot, I want us sweaty. I also dim the lights,
\ we're gonna need an intimate atmosphere. I take the hood off of 28's head, uncuff
\ her wrists and give her phone to her.

> I want what's coming to be something that only two of us share. Can you turn
> the room surveillance off for a while? This is not a question, I want you to do it.

She blinks, then her face shows her mind working hard. I'm not gonna push her,
\ I understand it may take a minute. In the meantime I lift the bag off the floor
\ and go to the toilet, closing the door. I'd open the tap to mask the sound, but
\ I don't want to waste water, because I'm that nice I guess. Fucking hell.
\ Whatever, I quietly take the gun out of the bag, take the mag out of the gun
\ and empty it into the bag. I'll need to give 28 a proper show. I put the mag
\ and the gun into the bag, close it and get out of the toilet.

She knows I'm not a colonel here, right? Does she have to follow my orders even
\ if I'm not? These are variables I can't effectively control, but it may
\ not matter anyway. I watch her quick tapping for a while, then she nods.

> Are we alone?

She nods again.

> How much time do we have? Do we have an hour?

She nods yet again. I take her phone and put it on my bed, out of her reach.
\ I check my TTS. Good, it's on sexy.

"For now I grant you your free speech back. I want you to express yourself
\ however you find appropriate, just maybe don't shout too much."

I take handcuffs out of my pocket and place them on her belly.

"Handcuff yourself, arms in front."

She does it without excessive haste, not saying anything yet. I check her wrists.
\ Cuffs look reasonably tight but not uncomfortable. Good. I have the key ready
\ and double-lock the cuffs so they stay as they are, then I put the key on my bed
\ near her phone.

"I will now slowly undress, you may enjoy. Actually, you may do anything you like
\ until told otherwise or given specific orders."

She just stares at me, still silent. Face? Unreadable. Eyes open slightly wider...
\ or maybe not. I can't tell what's she thinking. She's not smiling, which
\ is something at least.

As she can't really lift her head, I stand to the side of her bed, so she can
\ watch me with her head on the pillow. I don't do a dance or anything, I don't
\ pose for her, I just slowly undress as promised. If she did enjoy it, she
\ doesn't make it obvious. Should I do the dark shit now? Soon, but not just yet.
\ I come close to her and fuck does she still smell good. Am I aroused? Eh,
\ not all that much, but I want to play just a bit more.

"Massage your tits, squeeze your nipples. Not painfully."

She starts to do that.

"Do you want the hood back on?"

"Do YOU want it on me?" -- so she didn't forget how to speak after all.

"Just answer the question. If you were alone what would be your preference?"

...

I wait. Wait, I actually don't need to wait, it's not a big deal. Choice
\ is always hard, but nothing depends on this particular one. I don't have
\ any gear with me, but it's alright. I put the phone down near her. What was
\ that Jobs meme, about having ten stiluses with you at all times? Or is it stili?
\ Why do I always get distracted with the dumbest shit? Well the point is you
\ don't fuck a girl with a stilus, I hope you like this joke as much as I do.

So this is still less than ideal, but whatever, I'll manage. I go ahead with
\ using my tongue and my fingers. I like it, she seems to like it, and I like
\ that she seems to like it. By the way, did you notice that the two holes
\ relevant to the situation are located exactly so that your index and middle
\ fingers quite naturally feel right at home going into both at the same time?
\ Coincidence or divine intention? Checkmate atheists.

It didn't take too long to start receiving hints of incoming finish line,
\ it's easy to tell because my middle finger feels somewhat warmer than before.
\ Actually that's not a trivial matter. Do I make her come or do I leave her
\ hanging? Both options have some merits. Eeeeh, fine, I might be an evil person
\ in a moment, but now I just want her to feel good, all right? I stop playing
\ around and with some tongue work here she is coming as expected. I pull out
\ and slowly lick my index finger before her eyes. She didn't make any sounds,
\ is this significant? I'll decide later. Now I'll just quickly wash my hands
\ and come back. So, am I ready? Do I really do this?

...

I check with the tiny voice. It's even tinier now, but still there. Yeah well
\ to quote my childhood hero "sometimes reasonable people have to do unreasonable
\ things". I may hate myself for the rest of my life for this, but part of me
\ wants to do it anyway. I take a deep breath. No second-guessing, no regrets,
\ no forgiveness, no countdowns, no backups, now or never here it comes.

I walk back into the room, pick up the bag from the floor and climb on top of 28.
\ I sit kneeling, my hips over hers, slightly moving, so that our pussies touch
\ and rub together gently. It's more of a symbolic action than, like, a sex
\ position, I just want to express something intimate and personal that I feel
\ for her, I mean I really feel it, I'm not just acting. However, I also feel
\ something completely different, as I've tried to analyze before, it's still there.

So I reach into the bag and take the mag out, and I start to reload it, without
\ haste. The cartridges click as I insert them, and 28's eyes go real wide.
\ At least it looks like a surprise. But she's still silent. Next I pull the gun
\ and insert the mag into it. The bag may wait on the floor now, nothing inside it.
\ I slowly put the gun on her belly. Her hands are still over her tits, guess
\ I didn't tell her to stop. She shuffles slightly, reacting to the cool metal
\ against her skin. I watch her face. There are some emotions, but save for
\ surprise and uncertainty I can't really identify them. She opens her mouth,
\ but keeps silent. I take the gun again and rack the slide slowly, then press
\ on the safety with my thumb, then put the gun back. Nothing new on her face yet.
\ I take my phone.

"Hold the gun with both hands. Exercise trigger discipline."

She hesitates for a second, then her hands start to move. If I were her, I'd think
\ that most of what's coming next is nothing good, but there are still acceptable
\ outcomes available. Not for long. Slowly she takes the gun and puts her right
\ index finger to the side of the trigger guard. She keeps the gun pointed away
\ from us, as you do.

"Aim between my eyes."

What, did you think I'll just give it a blowjob? By the way, she sees my face
\ as well, I keep it cool. It's not hard, I don't really have any strong emotions
\ just yet, maybe later. Her face quickly breaks down though, straight to sheer
\ panic. She looks for an exit, but she's not finding it.

~~"Mute, what are you doing?"~~

Not quite a whisper, but she keeps her voice very low. Is it significant? Again,
\ I'll review the evidence later.

~~"Mute, don't do this."~~

I slowly type a four-letter word, but I don't press the speech button yet. This
\ now is the crux of the happening. What? It's a contemporary art piece, do you
\ like it? No? That's even better, something about a poignant social commentary.
\ I crack a little smile. NOT NOW. I need to focus on 28, I want to understand
\ her reaction. Face still in panic, she's now trembling slightly, the gun
\ shakes before my eyes.

~~"don't do this"~~

Now she is whispering. I guess she didn't find anything else to say. Something
\ about harming her in other ways I'd imagine, something like: do whatever else,
\ cut me with a chainsaw, amputate my leg with a nail clipper, but don't make me
\ do this, something like: this is the one thing I absolutely, abso-fucking-lutely
\ do not want to do, at least that's my impression. Maybe she decided it won't
\ be effective, in which case she's right, it won't. Well, if that's all, let's
\ wrap this up. I start to slowly reach for the button on the screen...

~~"mayday mayday mayday"~~

YOU... NINCOMPOOP!

~~"mayday mayday mayday"~~

THIS IS UNFAIR

~~"mayday mayday mayday"~~

I can't continue now, can I? No, I can't. I look at her with annoyance. Her face
\ somehow got even worse, she makes an effort whispering forbidden words.

~~"mayday mayday mayday mayday mayday... may... day..."~~

Okay, okay, you win. I put the phone down and take the gun from her shaking hands.
\ She lifts them up and closes her face. I hear a whimper. Yeah, show's over,
\ I suppose I'll have to start making things right with you now.

I get off her, get off her bed, walk to my bed and put the gun down. I know
\ I'll feel incredible guilt later, I anticipate it already, but I can't drown
\ myself in it just yet, I want to savour the moment. I don't know why, I don't
\ know how, these are questions for later, I'm just certain I did enjoy this
\ experience. I also have to care for 28, this mayday of hers may actually
\ be real. To the rescue then.

I lift her hands down and remove the handcuffs. She wraps her arms around herself,
\ burying hands in her armpits. I don't think any words from me would
\ be appropriate now, I just lay beside her, hugging her tight. Her whole body
\ is shaking now, I stroke her head gently, I see tears. I start to stroke her body
\ as well and now she's crying like a little girl, facing away from me. It's okay,
\ I'll just be near her. I was her torturer a minute ago, now I'm her girlfriend,
\ here to support her in a very difficult moment, at least I hope she sees me this way.

This will probably take some time, I can analyze the results. Abundant, but
\ inconclusive. One thing is clear, she doesn't want to kill me. Why, exactly?
\ Is it me in particular or people in general? Is it her in particular or maybe
\ she doesn't want me dead in general? Why does she care? Is it about that song
\ where I am somehow special? Special in general or special to her? Everything
\ may hold true at the same time by the way, I may be special, AND special
\ to her, and her killing me would be the single worst thing to ever happen.
\ Further experiments would help, but there will be no further experiments,
\ I will not be able to do anything like this ever again I don't think. Now,
\ knowing how it affects her, I will never justify putting her through
\ this shit once more.

...

Everything I saw may still be just incredibly good acting.

...

However I'm inclined to believe her reaction was genuine. Conclusions? None
\ at this point, but additional facts for sure. I wanted to hear the hammer drop
\ though. Would she be able to pull that trigger? Or would she try to eat
\ the bullet herself? Or would she just freeze in place without moving
\ her finger? That would provide more intel, but that would also likely
\ be that much more harmful, so maybe it's good she's guessed her way out.
\ Guessed? Is it possible she somehow knew my reaction to emergency signals?
\ I haven't actually received any, but in my mind if you ever come across one
\ it's categorically imperative you do your everything to answer it and help
\ however you can. Well, I guess I've just had my first then. Could she know
\ this is what I think? Well, how the hell does she know other things?
\ I must admit it's possible.

A funny image crosses my mind: I clearly see her asking me what was that
\ all about, and you know what? CLASS-I-FIED, BITCH. Still, I owe her
\ a bit of an explanation. I pick up the phone and start typing. I'll send it
\ as text, she'll read it later, she's gonna need some more time to recover.

> I thought you'd recognize your own gun from the bunker. It fails to fire,
> I've checked yesterday holding it against my head, twice. I hope you feel
> punished, I'll continue to punish you for the rest of your suspension
> as hard as I can manage. By the end I hope you'll be unable to feel guilt
> for the rest of your life, and I will feel so guilty towards you I'll be
> unable to kill myself without your permission. By the way, keep in mind that
> you are responsible for the things you've tamed. You've refused to kill me,
> this choice comes with consequences. If you need to reactivate
> the surveillance do it quickly, I want to take you back asap. What happened
> here is between you and me, but I won't hold it against you to do with it
> anything you want, I'm not classifying it.

...

> You've cheated. I'll punish you without a safe word and without your consent.
> I remember what you've said, but I don't hold it valid. You told me
> to punish you however I see fit, but it is my opinion you only said this
> because you didn't think I'm capable of the things I will do to you.
> I don't care that it's illegal, unethical and immoral, I'm making an exception
> just for you. I accept all possible consequences, I don't have a bright outlook
> and I'm not looking for one.

...

> In particular, don't you dare to pull a mayday on me again. You will relinquish
> your free will to me for the next week, and we'll see where it gets us.
> When bored I suggest reflecting.

Anything else? Nothing comes knocking. 28 is still sobbing, but looks functional.
\ I get off the bed, walk to her phone and place it near her face. I hope I made
\ myself clear, now I'll just put my colonel uniform back on and wait until
\ we can get moving. I'm not cuffing her and fuck the hood, I'll just cover her
\ with my blanket. Oh, you know what?

> You smell nice.

I mean, she just does, all right? I walk to the controls and turn heating off,
\ then walk to my bed and take the gun again. I pull the mag out, rack the slide
\ and insert the cartridge back into the mag, then holding the gun in my right arm
\ I turn around, raise it sharply, aim at the controls and pull the trigger.
\ Hammertime, motherfuckers. Ooooh, this felt like a closure, this-- this is
\ the satisfaction I needed. A little squeeze and a quiet click, simple things
\ that bring joy. Right, moving on. I insert the mag back in, then throw the gun
\ back into the bag and finally kick the bag under the bed. I put the handcuffs
\ and the key into my pocket and pull the blanket off the bed and spread it
\ over 28. She's busy with the phone, silent, her face is better, but she's
\ still very much not okay. I am the reason for this and for now I just accept it.
\ You shouldn't have given me the uniform and the squad to command, agent Mistress,
\ it made me feel like a real colonel on a combat mission. We have a war on
\ your hubris going on and war doesn't tolerate kindness, war kills kind people.
\ I don't mind to die, but the mission comes first.

~~"you don't need to wait for me, I can finish later"~~

> Do you want the hood now?

~~"I don't have free will, I'm unable to want"~~

Oh, that's right. She doesn't want the hood then, I put it under
\ the blanket and pull the top end over her head.

[[Then I roll her back.|next]]

(end of page)