Nuclear winter is not a theory, it's not a pun, it's not a trope and it's not
\ a meme, it's something that kills people. I've been on the move for weeks now,
\ staying warm by any means possible, but now I'm at my limit. There is nothing
\ around but the snow and the cold, no fuel to light a fire, no wind shelter,
\ no nothing, just snow, just cold, just a blizzard. I've lost feeling
\ in my limbs I don't even remember when, I'm just moving my legs out of
\ pure determination, I'll keep walking until I can't. I'll probably be dead
\ before morning, but I'll die with my boots on, this is all I have left.
\ What is this? A door in the ground? Is this... hope? I try to open the door,
\ but it doesn't open. All I can do is sit near and start knocking, start
\ knock-knock-knock-knoking... knocking... knocking... knock-knock-knock...
\ There's no answer, so there is no hope after all. Only snow... Only cold...
\ Only a blizzard... Then the door opens and I'm taken inside and there are
\ two girls there, twins, and they look at me with pity, and they want
\ to help me, but they don't know how. They only have one bed that they share,
\ but they put me on it and one of them is trying to warm me up with her own
\ body, because she doesn't have a better idea... They don't know my name,
\ they don't know anything about me, they just find it important to save me
\ whoever I may be...

I can work with that.

"I want to say something to you, mam." -- go ahead, Bunny, I won't stop you.
\ I did order you to do what you want after all.

"I have no idea how to help you, but at least I can be honest. We didn't think
\ it's a real assignment, and we didn't think you're a real colonel. We thought
\ of it as an R&R chance that we were lucky to get. We thought Em just wanted
\ to have fun while she's recovering. I have my doubts now, maybe we should have
\ taken this seriously. I'm afraid... I'm afraid we're gonna fail, but
\ I don't think we have time to make things right. At the very least I have to do
\ whatever it takes to save you from physical harm. You are correct, we didn't
\ consider you a friend, but I'm starting to regret this, mam. I'm starting to
\ think that you are a real colonel after all, even if you don't know that
\ yourself yet. I'm also starting to think that you may be the best person I'll
\ ever meet and that I've missed my chance at friendship with you. If we
\ meet again after this assignment is over I'd like to spend more time with you,
\ and if we won't, I'd like you to know that I'd probably look back at our time
\ together... well, with strong emotions."

Do I need to make a judgement? I'm not your judge, agent. I wish you to live
\ a long and happy life and if you need my recommendations you'll have them,
\ even if everything you're saying now is simply because you are afraid
\ to fail a mission.

"You've mentioned my honour, mam."

...

"I will have to re-evaluate many of my decisions up to this point."

...

"And though I didn't feel it previously, I'm feeling it now: it really was
\ an honour to serve under your command, mam."

...

I hear Foxy entering the room and leaving again. Why whould I know anything
\ about honour, agent Bunny, it was just a figure of speech. I can't remember
\ one thing I did right in my entire life, but I can name many I did wrong.
\ Is there a way to save their mission? What would be a success condition?
\ I feel like a wounded soldier that learns about an imminent enemy attack
\ and has to stand up and fight again. Fuck. I pick up my phone. Someone
\ needs my help, how can I refuse.

"What do you think your assignment entails? Why are you afraid of failing it?"

"We were told to help you, mam. We thought it meant providing assistance with...
\ practical tasks, but we didn't consider broader context. We are afraid
\ we didn't help you... Maybe quite the opposite."

So I need to help them help me, huh? The problem is I don't see how to do it,
\ and Bunny already told me she doesn't either. What do I need help with anyway?
\ What makes me unable to live like a normal person? I'd say mostly it's me
\ being completely unfit for adult life. Do you need a pony, agents?

"You didn't make it worse. What, you think you piercing my pussy is why I'm sad?
\ That's missing the problem by a mile and a half. How did it end up by the way,
\ do you like it?"

...

"I'm sorry, mam, I'm not really into BDSM." -- is she being shy all of a sudden?
\ I turn towards her. She does look embarrassed, that's new. -- "I did my best
\ to follow your instructions. By the way, let me take a look."

Yeah, sure, I'm naked anyway. She lifts the blanket and inspects the bandages.
\ I try to take a look as well, but can't get a good view. No matter, it can wait.
\ Bunny seems satisfied, but then her face changes slightly and she strokes me gently.

"My training clouded my judgement, mam. I focused on work at hand and didn't
\ think of you as... anything more. I didn't try to make it less painful as per
\ your instructions, I... It only occurred to me just now that you may had hurt
\ yourself intentionally with the orders you gave me."

...

"I was under the impression that you enjoy being in pain, mam."

... Oh, is this a question?

"I don't. Stop second-guessing, I very much appreciate what you did for me.
\ I'm just... not normal, I guess."

"Are you punishing yourself, mam?"

...

"I've done things."

...

"Did you shoot Em?"

"Classified. Let's just say that incident does involve me."

"She'll be fine, it's not a big deal."

Are you trying to tell me I worry about trivial shit? That particular thing is not
\ what I had in mind. You weren't there, you haven't seen her face Bunny,
\ or her eyes under that piggy mask. Fuck, this hurts.

"Would you say she was enjoying her suspension?"

"It's not for me to say, mam. I thought you two worked together so I assumed she was."

...

"But even if that's not the case... Mam, she's an agent, she can take much more than that."

I disagree, but whatever. The bunker is much warmer now, I guess they've switched
\ heating on somehow somewhere. I turn to the wall again, and Bunny is back
\ to spooning me under the blanket. I don't feel as awful now, I guess they were
\ able to help me after all, I hope their fears will come to nothing. I'm not ready
\ to go back though. I want to spend the night here, and they probably still
\ won't leave me alone, but now their company doesn't annoy me as much. They
\ didn't do anything wrong to me, not before, not now. Like right this moment,
\ part of me wants to go back to the cold rain and, I don't know, go search
\ for Matt or something, but another part of me does very much enjoy being here
\ with Bunny in this dim reddish light, in this warm bunker, both of us naked,
\ and maybe she'll start stroking my body again... Hm? No. Not to have sex,
\ just because I'm hurting and she wants to help. This is nice, and part of me
\ wants nice...

"Guys..." -- Foxy came into the bedroom and she sounds confused -- "I think
\ I maybe might have panicked a little... And went a bit overboard with
\ heating... And maybe we'll have a slightly hot evening here..."

I turn around again. She stands in the doorframe, her head down, her shirt
\ unbuttoned. My despair session is completely ruined, this is a sleepover now,
\ what next, pillowfight? I guess it depends on the size of her "bit", maybe
\ instead of a nuclear winter we'll have a serious global warming on our hands.
\ I'm not leaving unless it becomes dangerous, like for real. I sigh. No rest
\ for the wicked, I guess.

"Anyone hungry?"

I'm not really that better, but I can pretend now.
\ [[And I really don't mind a late breakfast.|next]]

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