"Are you next of kin?" -- the doctor looks normal, wearing a white lab coat
\ and glasses. I nod. -- "Alrighty then, please fill in the form here."

He hands me a sheet of paper on a clipboard and a pen. Quite the old school
\ system they have here. Right. Name, age, medical history. This is a bit
\ of a problem, I know nothing about nothing, especially for a supposed
\ relative. Hmmm, relative, eh? What's my last name again? I have no better
\ idea anyway. I scribble on the paper and hand it back.

"Secret agent Old Man? Everything about him classified? Even his age? Miss,
\ I have a legitimate medical need to know, I need to treat him!"

I take the paper back and scribble some more.

"My best estimate is... I mean, yes, it's possible, but it's a clear risk
\ for the patient."

I scribble some more.

"Agent Mistress? Woah, alright, alright, if you say so. I just... I'm obliged
\ to inform you that lack of information presents risk. Just so you know."

I nod. What do you want from me? I'd tell you everything if I knew anything
\ myself, but I just don't, all right? There is no choice here, risk or no risk.
\ We need him to wake up and then he'll tell more himself.

"So, current status. The patient is stable, unconscious, prognosis positive.
\ You can stay by his side no problem, it's even advised. Data suggests talking
\ to patients is linked with faster recovery, so you do that. Topics don't
\ matter much but I recommend something relaxing, maybe some pleasant shared memories."

I just look at him.

"What is it?"

I take my phone out.

> Mute

"Hi Mute, I'm Vincent."

This is the worst dad joke I can imagine. It's so bad I will buy this guy a drink
\ sometime. Of course he's seen my pass, that adds another layer. I take it all in,
\ appreciate the context, turn it around in my mind, examining it from different
\ sides. Yeah, that's a rarity. Still, there's something I need to tell him.

> I can't talk.

"I understand, I'm a bit busy myself."

Motherfucker, I'm sure you are being thick on purpose, you absolute tease.

> I'm unable to produce sounds with my throat.

"Oooooh, you mean you are mute AND your name is Mute? Wow miss, this is a really
\ curious medical coincidence, I'll ask you for a research interview later."

I make an impatient gesture.

"Yeah, well, let's see here. One option would be someone other than you who CAN
\ talk to the patient. Anyone on your mind?" -- No.